Nipple Ring Accidents

I love it when people wear clothing. I just think it’s safer.
I know Betty would never agree with me, being the extreme nudist that she is.
But the other day, I was walking down a hallway, and as I rounded the corner, I ran into a topless man. It would have been have been fine if he had [...]

Technu Shower with Happy Ending

I love it when Betty is such a hard core surf buddy, which is 24/7. But some times she’s so hard core, she calls my dawn patrol bluff.
“Wanna surf down the coast tomorrow?” texts Betty.
“Since it’s a six hour trip, I can only go if we dawn patrol,” I text. “Let’s leave at 4:30am.”
“Are you [...]

Po’ Surfer

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Kid Moobs

I love it when I can just lounge at the pool, while I’m on vacation. It’s so relaxing, soaking up the sun and enjoying the scenery. Well, most of the scenery is enjoyable, but some of it is down right disturbing.
When did little boys start sporting moobs, man boobs? And if boys have moobs, do I go [...]

“Beat It” Michael Jackson

I love it when I can make a difference in people’s lives.
“Hey, Betty want to start a Surfing Boot Camp for Unmotivated Surfer Dudes?” I text Betty.
“Yeah!” texts Betty. “How do they surf everyday and still have pot bellies? We can totally help them get 6 pack abs.”
“Great what do you think our theme song [...]

Hot Camper Surfer Dude

I love it when Betty finds a hot new guy to crush on, even if she doesn’t know it, yet.
Good thing I’m here to convince what a great guy he is. I mean that’s what friends are for, right?
“Camper Surfer Dude is really cute, Betty,” I say.
“Yeah and he lives in his camper,” says Betty [...]

Baby Daddy

“Betty oh my gosh!,” I text. “I just saw Mr. Non-Committment on facebook with his girlfriend.”Really?!” texts Betty.
“Yes, and there was a little kid in a few of the pictures,” I text. “I think he’s her Baby Daddy.”
“Ok, let me check facebook,” texts Betty.
5 minutes later.
“OMG!” texts Betty. “He is her Baby Daddy!” Her status says, ‘can’t [...]

Rio Cut Bikini

I love it when Betty goes shopping for a new bikini.
“Did you go to Old Navy, they had a ton of bathing suits,” I say.
“No, their suits cover too much skin,” complains Betty. ”I like the Rio cut because, the cut cums in, and makes my butt look rounder and juicier.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it helps that your butt already is [...]

Blow Up Doll

I love it when I’m at the mall with Betty. She’s always so fun. Especially when she’s got a little alcohol in her.
“Oh my gosh, let’s check and see if he has a ding dong,” says Betty, all hot and bothered by Manny the Mannequin’s six pack Abs.
But I didn’t see the point of checking at all.
“Betty, [...]

“You Talk Too Much” Run DMC

love it when the Ocean has it’s own natural way of taking care of loud mouth, obnoxious surfers.
“I’m sick and tired of listening to Surfer Dude talking non-sense,” says the Ocean. “I’ll take care of him.”
Snap!
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Gawd!” exclaims Surfer Dude as he pops up and discovers his surfboard in two pieces.

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