Three’s Company

I love it when Betty goes out with her friend and somehow ends up at her friend’s boyfriend’s house.
“Did her boyfriend invite the two of you, up to his bedroom for a night cap?” I ask Betty.
“No,” says Betty. “We went skinny dipping in the hot tub, and he stayed in the house and played [...]

Blow Up Doll

I love it when I’m at the mall with Betty. She’s always so fun. Especially when she’s got a little alcohol in her.
“Oh my gosh, let’s check and see if he has a ding dong,” says Betty, all hot and bothered by Manny the Mannequin’s six pack Abs.
But I didn’t see the point of checking at all.
“Betty, [...]

Cockblocking Surfer Chick

I love it when I’m surfing with shortboarders. Longboarders are like surfing with guys who have small dicks and have to make up for it by driving big trucks. It’s as if they have to prove they are the top dog with the biggest dick, by catching every wave in sight.
Even worse are some of [...]

Rock Head

I love it when Hubby Surfer Dude takes off on a wave, tries to pull out, gets sucked over the falls, and barely misses the rocks, by an inch.
“Baby, be careful,” says Wifey Surfer Chick. “I don’t want an ugly husband. You almost smashed your face on the rocks.”
On the bright side, he didn’t smash his face. But [...]

Call Me Captain Morgan

I love it when Betty’s crush checks the surf.
“Does he want us to talk about his Dick?” I say. “That’s a full frontal crotch display!”
“I don’t know,” says Betty. “But he does like it when I call him Captain Morgan,” says Betty.

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Don’t Touch This

I love it when I tell my girlfriend I’m bisexual and, she starts touching me incessantly, five minutes after I’ve spoken my truth.
“Please stop touching me,” I say. ” It gets me all hot and bothered.”
Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to be able to stop herself. Is it me? Is she bi-curious, or just a tease? Women.

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Did You See That?

I love it when all the Surfer Dudes paddle out to the same peak, leaving Betty and I with a peak all to ourselves.
“All some surfers care about is, whether or not their bros think they’re ripping,” says Betty.
“Yeah,” I say. “And if they weren’t so homophobic they’d be smoking each others’ cigars, and pushing in each others’ stools. [...]

Talking Shit

Don’t you love it when the hotel you’re staying at mounts a phone right next to the toilet so you can call all your friends AND talk shit?

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Cuming Out

I love it when I tell my gurl friends, who claim to be straight, “I’m bisexual,” the first thing out of their mouths is, “so are you attracted to me?” I suppose everyone wants to be wanted. Oh my!
However, when I answer, “No,” the look of disappointment on their faces makes me say, “I can [...]

Powering Down

I love it when I call Betty and she’s online .
“Betty can you please find me a socal edison pay station,” I ask.
“Just pay online,” says Betty.
I just want to pay in person,” I say. “They are gonna turn off my power in 2 days, and then we won’t be able to tweet.
“Ok,” says Betty. I found one, 69 [...]

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Betty and Susie are BFFs who love to surf, have fun and they especially love talking about sex.... read more

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Don't You Love It When…

Chronicling inappropriate fantasies and half truths based in an alternate reality.