Nipple Ring Accidents

I love it when people wear clothing. I just think it’s safer.
I know Betty would never agree with me, being the extreme nudist that she is.
But the other day, I was walking down a hallway, and as I rounded the corner, I ran into a topless man. It would have been have been fine if he had [...]

Technu Shower with Happy Ending

I love it when Betty is such a hard core surf buddy, which is 24/7. But some times she’s so hard core, she calls my dawn patrol bluff.
“Wanna surf down the coast tomorrow?” texts Betty.
“Since it’s a six hour trip, I can only go if we dawn patrol,” I text. “Let’s leave at 4:30am.”
“Are you [...]

Kid Moobs

I love it when I can just lounge at the pool, while I’m on vacation. It’s so relaxing, soaking up the sun and enjoying the scenery. Well, most of the scenery is enjoyable, but some of it is down right disturbing.
When did little boys start sporting moobs, man boobs? And if boys have moobs, do I go [...]

Next Time Use A Leash

I love it when I don’t fall in the shower. Apparently, it can be dangerous and constipating.
“I’ve been constipated for 3 days,” says Hospital Patient Guy.
“Well, lets get an x ray and see what’s going on,” says X Ray Tech Guy. “Sir, you appear to have a travel size shampoo bottle stuck up your butt.
“Uh, [...]

Is it Contagious?

I love it when my massage clients come in with rash-free skin.
“You really need to have that rash looked at, and treated,” I say. “You’ve had it for weeks.”
“Well, it isn’t contagious,” infers Massage Client. “I mean you didn’t get it, did you?”
“I covered it up, so I didn’t have any contact with it,” [...]

Pickers

I love it when people can’t stop picking. And then after they pick, they examine their pickings.
“Oooh, gotta big load on that one!” says a Picker proudly.
Get a room. It’s called the bathroom. Don’t forget to close the door.

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But I Feel So Good

I love it when I’m sitting next to Betty and she can’t stop feeling herself up.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Huh?” asks Betty in a daze.
“You’re rubbing your legs and moaning,” I point out.
“Oh, yeah,” says Betty. “Ever since I had laser hair removal on my legs, they’re sooooooo smooth. They feel soooooo gooooooooood.”
“You and your [...]

Yeast Infection

I love it when Betty texts me, “my brother just asked me if I’ve ever had a yeast infection?”
Not wanting her bro to worry I text back:
“Tell him yeast infections are caused by antibiotics and he doesn’t have to worry about getting a sexually transmitted disease from his girlfriend ……it will just be a little [...]

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