Little Dog

I love it when Betty meets a new guy. The opposite sex is intriguing and mysterious. I’m glad it’s her trying to figure it all out, and not me. But I like to help out when I can.
“I saw Surfer Joe again,” texts Betty. “He had a little dog with him. It’s probably his girlfriend’s [...]

Man Diego

I love it when Betty travels to new places. She always meets lots of new, fun people.
“Oh my goodness!” texts Betty. “There are so many cute guys hitting on me at the bar!”
“Really?” I text. “Like how many guys?”
“6 or 7, I’m not sure,” texts Betty. “There’s so many guys, I lost count. I must look [...]

Dodge Penis

I love it when I’m watching porn advertisements disguised as car commercials.
“Test drive the all new dodge penis with ego boost engine today,” says the TV announcer. “The all new dodge penis, has the thirst of a V6 and the thrust (driver puts hand on his stick, pause pause pause) of a V8.”
“The TV announcer [...]

The Only Trash Can On The Beach?

I love it when Betty and I get to the beach just in time to claim the last available trash can. Back in the day, a surfer didn’t have to lock her bike at the beach, but sadly, times have changed.
Once a trash can is claimed, other surfers usually stay away. Fortunately, there are other trash [...]

Will You Shave My Ass, Please?

“Um, babe, thanks for shaving my ass, again.” says Boyfriend. ”But my bum always gets dry and irritated after a shave. Could you rub some lotion on my bottom?”
“You should consider laser hair removal for more permanent, long lasting results,” suggests Girlfriend. “Or this relationship isn’t going to last much longer.”

Tweet This Post

Afternoon Delight

I love it when I get to have afternoon sex with my husband.
Tired sex, is what we have if we wait until both kids fall asleep.
“Let’s not wait until the kids are asleep to have sex today,” I suggest to my Husband. “Put on a movie, at the other end of the house, so we can have some [...]

Was She Hot?

I love it when Betty gets hit on by a bi girl.
“A bi girl just grabbed my butt,” texts Betty.
“Was she hot?” I text.
“Yeah in slutty, bi curious, kind of way,” texts Betty. “She had on a little black dress and 4 inch pumps.”
“How’d you know she was bi?” I ask.
“She grabbed my brother’s butt, [...]

It Doesn’t Take A Psychic

I love it when I read the writing on the wall and I don’t even know it.
“Betty now that you and Baby Daddy are here at Zippers together, I know you’re gonna hook up again,” I tease.
“No, I’m not,” protests Betty.
“Yes, you are,” I say.
“Hey what are you doing tonight,” I ask.
“Meeting Baby Daddy at [...]

Facebook Stalker

I love it when Betty’s guy crush follows us on vacation.
“Hey, I just got a text from Baby Daddy,” says Betty.
“What does he want, now?” I ask.
“He wants a surf report,” says Betty. “I’m going to tell him Mexico is going off!”
5 minutes later
“Oh my gosh!” squeals Betty. “He says he’s in Mexico, right now!”
“Betty, [...]